just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
