Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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