btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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