I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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