I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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