Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
