there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
