PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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