I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
