Kiss
Puke
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
