she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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