he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
