The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
