Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
