OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
