I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
