no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
