he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize