i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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