ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
