Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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