My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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