Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
