Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
