i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
