Dual....:-)
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Are we still banned from the library?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
