I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
