Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
