Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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