i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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