I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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