i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sorry about my life...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
