I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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