fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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