Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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