Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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