that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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