You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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