She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
