i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
