Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
