found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
