But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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