the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
this hospital has no fireball
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
