party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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