Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
