it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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