Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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