I'm lost and stupid without you.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
