we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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