Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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